While it has been decades since men were expected to be the household breadwinners and their wives were expected to be home with the children, another type of stereotype isn't quite so old: the perception that women are the only ones in the workplace who need work/life/family programs. But more and more, male lawyers are grappling with the same issues once thought only to affect their female colleagues. Recently, Diversity&the Bar® talked to several men who are dealing both with the challenges of a competitive career along with significant family demands. How do they do it? How do their solutions differ from those of women lawyers? And how do their workplaces support them?
Balancing home and work life is a familiar theme to Josh Wayser, a partner at Lord, Bissell & Brook, LLP. "I have three small children under the age of five," says Wayser, a gay commercial litigation attorney. "My partner also works, so we're a two-dad working family. I have a profound appreciation for the difficulties that working moms face. I think it's happening more and more to dads now, either because they're single fathers or because there are a lot more gay men adopting kids."
Many male attorneys with families today aren't content to equate good parenting with attending an occasional school play. Wayser believes men want to be more involved in the lives of their children and still tackle a pressure-packed career. "I think my generation is very committed to their families. But the flip side is my own personal pride. I have a good client base because when they email me, I respond instantly. Technology enables you, for example, to go to a teacher conference. I think a lot of men in my generation are interested in taking part in those types of activities. But it is a very delicate balance."
Growing Interest in Balancing Work and Family
This struggle for balance is a growing trend. The topic is featured at bar association conferences across the country and in seminars both in person and on the web. In the 2005 Catalyst study of 1,400 male and female attorneys in Canada, the desire for more support of family and personal commitments was the top reason given for attorneys to consider changing firms (see sidebar).
Catalyst Surveys What Makes Lawyers Stay
Catalyst, a leading research and advisory organization that works with businesses and professionals to expand opportunities for women at work, surveyed 1,439 male and female attorneys at 100 Canadian law firms to determine reasons why they would most likely change firms. In the study, 84 percent of women and 66 percent of Canadian men stated the number-one reason they would work for a different firm was "an environment more supportive of my family and personal commitments." U.S.-based attorneys can draw insights from their Canadian colleagues.
From "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt: Building a Business Case for Flexibility," 2005 Catalyst, permission granted.
"Work/life balance is a hot issue in the legal field now," says Josh Fruchter, Esq., founder and publisher of jdbliss.com, a web site addressing work/life balance and career satisfaction for attorneys. The interest in this issue is so pervasive that the web site already has over 25,000 subscribers in its first six months of operation, according to Fruchter. "I think men have started to wake up and say, 'I want more time with my kids, more time with my spouse.' It might have emanated from the fact that as women have become more prominent in the workplace, they've brought their own values and men have realized that these are values they share but have suppressed for a long time."
Law firms are pushing for more hours, contends Fruchter, at the same time attorneys are attempting to achieve a work/life balance. "Clients now are scrutinizing their law firm bills more carefully, shopping their matters around more competitively, and are generally trying to cut legal costs," says Fruchter. "That creates a competitive environment and law firms try to maintain their revenue and their profits by increasing the billable hours that the partners and associates work. The more bottom-line oriented culture is creating a demand for longer hours, working harder, and that clashes with many attorneys' desire for more time for personal and family interests."
How do attorneys find time for their families, yet still put in the requisite hours for their firms and clients?
Attorney A. Scott Bolden, a partner at Reed Smith LLP, adds another element to the mix by actively exploring a run for mayor of the District of Columbia in 2006. "I call my personal life challenge juggling, because you never really balance, it's about keeping the balls in the air," says Bolden. "Right now I'm juggling between politics, my law practice, and my daughters, including my 10-year-old twin daughters. Their mom and I are not together, but I'm a full-time parent and I see them every day."
He says outside support is the key. "It's controlled chaos. I try desperately to stick to my schedule. I've got a lot of support around me. My babysitter, friends, the twins, their mother, my assistant, and my political supporters are a great network in keeping me focused on family, politics, and the law. It's a daily exercise."
Communication is key to anyone seeking balance. Bolden and other attorneys say they talk to their families and firms in order to strike a compromise for time. All of the attorneys who feel they successfully cope with balance also credit the willingness of their firms to allow for flexibility. "The culture of Reed Smith is one of support for one another," stresses Bolden. "I've been here 15 years and I've watched the firm grow from a 200 to a 1000-person law firm. The culture of support and congeniality continues, despite the intensity of our various practices. They've always been very supportive of family leave, medical leave, and bereavement leave for male and female attorneys. In many respects, it is not just a law partnership, but the firm has been a real partner with me in all my efforts."
"…technology has made it possible for more people to work in more flexible and varied ways. The irony is that many law firms seem ever more insistent that people be seen doing their work in the office which, when coupled with a continued emphasis on billable hours, creates tremendous pressure in terms of lawyers being able to achieve an acceptable work/life balance." -Diane Yu
Bolden believes that mental discipline helps him in his pursuit of balance. "They say men compartmentalize their thought process. As I look at my daily schedule, I get mentally prepared for those segments at certain points during the day. When I'm focused on the law, I concentrate on not letting the other issues flow in-at least that's the goal. At the end of the day, I look back over my schedule and evaluate how I did for the day, vis-à-vis those three important parts. The upside is I'm normally pleased; the downside is that what gets lost most is my personal time. Right now, my personal time is when I'm sleeping and dreaming about personal time."
How are firms and corporate counsel responding to the increasing interest of men to be more active in their home lives?
General Motors has a computer system that allows attorneys to access their file systems along with their emails. "It's phenomenal-if you have a high-speed line at home, you're golden," says David B. Cade, an attorney with the Product Litigation Practice Group at General Motors. For two years, Cade was the primary caretaker of his grandfather and, since his death, has handled all the estate's legal issues. He worked, looked after his grandfather, and managed to spend time with his wife, pregnant with their first child.
GM encouraged him to work flexible hours, which he says helped immensely. "As society gets more progressive and men take on more responsibility, I think you're going to see bosses, male and female, who understand and recognize this so-called sandwich generation, caring for both parents and children," says Cade. "Since they're going through it, they can say, 'I don't want to lose an employee over this and I can make accommodations such as flexible working hours.' "
Laptop computers and PDAs provide a sense of organization to those struggling to achieve a balance. Cade feels technology helped get him through the difficult times with his grandfather. "I always took my laptop home and a few things to work on in case of an emergency," said Cade. "Once I was with my grandfather at the emergency room for nine hours, and while they were running tests, I was able to pull out my computer and start working. It's just trying to stay organized. Another thing I found beneficial was having everything in my PDA, including all his medications and all his doctors. I keep all my work contacts information in there so I have my phone numbers, I'm accessible and check my voice mail often."
No matter how attorneys confront the work and personal life issue, Cade thinks taking time for both work and family makes you a better person. "Every working mom is dealing with it; I wish more working dads would. It helps balance you as a human and gives you a better perspective of what's important at the end of the day. It gives you the ability to empathize if you've been through it. If you take the time to get to know people's lives and make them want to work for you and be around you because you're a considerate person, you're probably going to get a better product."
Firm values were mentioned in the Catalyst study as a reason to change firms. Cade credits his company's values and the support he received from his superiors at GM for allowing him to keep a semblance of balance. "Years ago, when my father was dying, I was at a law firm and my boss just didn't understand. His question was 'Why aren't you billing more?' I was still number one in my class for hours, but he wanted face time, he wanted to see you all the time. He essentially said, 'I want to see you here during the day rather than making up your hours billing from home at 10:00 or 11:00 at night,'" mimics Cade.
Diane Yu, chair of the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession and chief of staff and deputy to the president of NYU, backs up Cade's comment about "face time." "First, biological imperatives increase the likelihood that most attorneys will be raising children during their key career-building years," says Yu. "Second, technology has made it possible for more people to work in more flexible and varied ways. The irony is that many law firms seem ever more insistent that people be seen doing their work in the office which, when coupled with a continued emphasis on billable hours, creates tremendous pressure in terms of lawyers being able to achieve an acceptable work/life balance."
What also concerns Yu is the perception that attorneys with flexible schedules aren't pulling-or cannot pull-their own weight. "There is still a significant risk that carries severe penalties for women or men trying to accommodate their work/life struggles through reduced hours or part-time work," states Yu. "What they report to us is that they feel they will be immediately marginalized, that their work assignments will suffer in terms of quality and content, the attention and mentoring they get will decrease, and their promotional opportunities will be jeopardized."
Statistics support the reluctance of attorneys to work part-time. In a 2004 study of 1300 law offices by the National Association for Law Placement Inc. (NALP), 96.7 percent of law firms allowed part-time schedules, either as a policy or on a case-by-case basis.1 However, the number of attorneys taking advantage of that policy was 3.9 percent. Compared to a Bureau of Labor Statistics report stating an average of 14 percent of professional workers were employed part-time, NALP concluded that, "The decision not to pursue a part-time schedule in a law firm setting may reflect concerns about the effect part-time work might have on one's career path."2
What has to Change in Order to Balance Work and Life?
Yu believes younger attorneys are signaling that they want a different life than their predecessors. "The current generation in the workforce has been paying greater attention to this balancing act. There are a number of women, especially in their 20s and 30s, who look at women in their 50s and 60s and see the ramifications of sacrificing family for career, or not having pursued options to resolve the work/life conflict. In addition, I think there's a sense that many men are far more active in raising their children than was true 10 or 20 years ago and feel this is a critical part of their lives. They want to have time to be with their families, they want to have challenging careers, and, to the best of their ability, want to do both at the same time."
Most attorneys know colleagues who've altered their career aspirations in order to have a more balanced life. Although from the NALP data it appears few attorneys currently take advantage of part-time schedules, in the recent Catalyst study of Canadian lawyers, "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt: Building a Business Case for Flexibility," 84 percent of the women and 66 percent of the men surveyed stated that the number-one reason they would work for a different firm was "an environment more supportive of my family and personal commitments."3 The second reason chosen was "more control over my work schedule," followed by "work fewer hours" (see sidebar).
| Work/Life Balance Tips |
| Attorneys frequently mention similar strategies for anyone coping with work/life balance issues. Those interviewed suggested the following tips to help manage a legal career and personal time:
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Catalyst concluded, "It is noteworthy that more men and women report these three factors as important, compared to more traditional factors, such as increased compensation and opportunities for upward mobility."
Because this study was conducted using Canadian attorneys, Diversity&the Bar® checked its relevance, especially in terms of diversity, with Joan Williams, director of the Program on Work/Life Law and professor of law at American University in Washington, DC. "I think there's a similar phenomenon in the United States," stated Williams. "We have heard of numerous situations where associates have sent the message to the partners that they would prefer to trade off money for time; this is true of men as well as women."
James Sandman, managing partner of Arnold&Porter LLP, concurred. "The inability to achieve work/life balance is one of the most significant factors in job change in the legal profession and causes some people to leave the profession entirely," says Sandman. "I'm not at all surprised by the Catalyst results and would expect to see similar results in a comparable U.S. survey."
If lawyers don't want to cut their hours, is their only option downsizing their career aspirations? "Certainly there are attorneys who have gone away from the law firm life to a less stressful government position," says John C. Yang, a partner in the firm of Wiley Rein&Fielding LLP and past president of the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association (NAPABA). "On the other hand, I've also seen former assistant U.S. attorneys go from that stressful job to one that's a little less time demanding and with more flexibility."
Different practice fields may lend themselves better to balance. In the Catalyst study, 19 percent of women and 17 percent of men stated that doing a different type of legal work would be their reason to change firms. "The hardest law fields are litigation, transactional, ones that require travel, and anything that goes in uncontrollable cycles," states Yang. "There are other practices where you can count on a routine and you can predict when the cycles of activity will be. Those lend themselves a little more easily to a balanced life."
David Cade experienced working both at a firm and now in-house with General Motors. "Litigation is harder for someone having to have a work/life balance and family," states Cade. "I don't think in-house is easier, per se, but I'm not focused on billing. There are a lot of things I can do on a cell phone or at home."
Several attorneys suggest, rather than downsizing their goals, striving for balance has focused and increased their career aspirations. "Since I've dedicated myself in making the family first, my practice has grown significantly from what it was before that rededication," explains A. Scott Bolden. "My partners, my clients, and even judges I appear before are supportive of that balance and my recommitment to family. I think it's positive and a sign of the times. That makes a huge difference in this juggling act. I don't think family obligations should compromise professional success or political aspirations-you can and should be able to do it all. I think your family ought to be a positive influence on your goals and objectives. It does mean you have to work twice as hard, sometimes three times as hard when you have family, but if this is the life you want, it makes it harder, not unachievable."
Wayser of Lord, Bissell&Brook, LLP agrees. "I've upsized my career aspirations, because I have more people relying on me," stresses Wayser. "It's interesting, when you're a single gay man and you're a partner in a law firm, there comes a point when you say 'Why am I doing this? I'm just making money.' Now, I've upsized my career aspirations because I have a family to support and that's a wonderful thing. From this perspective, it's made me more committed to my career, because I need my career."
"I think your family ought to be a positive influence on your goals and objectives. It does mean you have to work twice as hard, sometimes three times as hard when you have family, but if this is the life you want, it makes it harder, not unachievable."
Is Technology the Answer?
In the Catalyst study, 81 percent of women and 67 percent of men said a reason to leave their current firm would be to have more control over their work schedules. Law firms often equip attorneys with personal digital assistants and laptop computers. Does technology give attorneys more flexibility, or keep them electronically chained to the office?
O. Ali Anekwe is an associate practicing corporate finance with Chapman and Cutler LLP. He is also a captain in field artillery in the U.S. Army National Guard, based in Wisconsin. His firm's flexibility and technology enable him to thrive in both careers.
When his roles overlap, he credits his fiancé, his secretary, and his PDA for keeping him organized no matter where he's located. "Sometimes, it's very smooth and the planning works, and other times it's a juggling act. When I'm on maneuvers, I have my laptop. Recently, to turn in my hours, I had to leave the field in a Hummer, find internet access, and send the time to my secretary. Then I called an associate on my cell and asked how a deal closing was going. He hesitated and asked, 'Where are you?' He could hear firing in the background."
Fruchter of JD Bliss hears from many attorneys on the issue of communication technologies. "Technology allows a client to contact an attorney anytime, anywhere, on their Blackberry, on their laptop, through wireless internet connections. Also in terms of document technology, documents can be edited and changed up until the last minute-you can make changes, send a redline, really keep on working on something right until a deadline. It makes attorneys more efficient. Yet, when an attorney brings his or her Blackberry home, their spouse and children aren't getting their full attention. So technology creates efficiency, but it also blurs the line between work and personal time."
"Technology has made our lives more efficient, but studies show that we have less free time than we did 20 or 30 years ago," states Yang of Wiley Rein&Fielding LLP. His firm encourages telecommuting if an attorney wants it. "I think technology is a double-edged sword. On one hand, PDAs, Blackberries, and so on allow people more flexibility outside of the office; on the other hand, there's a danger that a client's expectation is that they're always on call. It's too early to know yet with PDAs, but I'm sure that studies are taking place now about how much time they free up versus take up. I think that's where everyone has to have their own sense of balance, whether turning off that PDA or cell phone at a certain time or making it clear to clients that there are boundaries, that they need to spend time with their children or spouses."
Final Suggestions
Attorneys attempting to balance work/personal life can benefit from those who feel they do it successfully. Yang says planning is imperative. "I think the key is to whatever extent you can, schedule personal time early. One useful tip that I learned is to schedule your vacations well in advance. Most of the firms I know of are very good about allowing people to take vacation as long as you have it in their calendar. Also getting subscriptions to things like the Kennedy Center here in DC and season tickets for the Washington Nationals baseball team. If you put them on your calendar, the chance that you'll miss them are much reduced."
When attorneys realize they can't "have it all," they may be happier. "It's about reasonable expectations," says David Cade. "Your house may not be clean all the time, but try not to be a perfectionist. Is it right for you? Are you content? Are you happy?"
Josh Wayser suggests that everyone will approach this issue differently. "One tip is to find what works for you. Negotiation can be difficult and very personal. I'm a driven person, so I'm lucky I don't sleep as much as most people, especially when I have to be on the Blackberry at 5:30 in the morning and 10:00 at night. But those to me are easy concessions, because they allow me to do the other things I want to do. Balance is always unique, but it can be done," Wayser concludes.
Kathleen Dreessen is a freelance writer based in Napa, Calif.
This article is the first of a two-part series that addresses work/life issues and how male attorneys find balance. Part two will explore additional ways male attorneys juggle multiple responsibilities and possible long-term solutions to this issue. Don't miss the Sept./Oct. issue of Diversity&the Bar.
NOTES
- National Association for Law Placement analysis of the 2004-2005 NALP Directory of Legal Employers.
- National Association for Law Placement Press Release "Part-Time Attorney Schedules Remain an Under-Utilized Option by Most Partners, Associates," Nov. 5, 2004.
- "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt: Building a Business Case for Flexibility," 2005 Catalyst.
From the July/August 2005 issue of Diversity & The Bar®