Year-End Acts of Kindness
Heather Bradley, CPCC, and Miriam Bamberger Grogan, CPCC, are the co-founders of The Flourishing Company, a workplace consulting firm which changes the way people experience work. They are the authors of Judge For Yourself: Clarity, Choice, and Action in Your Legal Career, published by the American Bar Association in cooperation with MCCA®. For additional information, visit: www.TheFlourishingCompany.com.
'Tis the season to give gifts. The commercials started around Labor Day, but now is the time to get busy: What presents will we give to whom during this holiday season?
Giving co-workers presents can be awkward, and your company or firm most likely has a practice of sending seasonal cards to current and prospective clients. Rather than trying to find the right book, coffee mug, or other trinket, this year, give your staff, clients, vendors, and colleagues what they really want and cannot give themselves: your appreciation.
Many professionals feel this kind of verbal recognition is not important. "He knows how I feel. If he wasn't doing a good job, he'd know," is a common refrain from senior attorneys. This statement may be true. But it is also true that with today's workplace requiring simultaneous focus on productivity, efficiency, and political correctness, we often lose sight of the humanity of the people with whom we work.
Research suggests this attitude is costly. Indeed, the primary reasons that employees leave their jobs are irregular or nonexistent feedback, criticism instead of praise, and managers' inattention to the people they supervise.1
With clients, recognition is just as important. Many attorneys shrink from the idea of praising clients, fearful they'll be perceived as buttering up. But clients are people, too, and remembering the value of simple acts of kindness can produce handsome rewards.
Marc, a senior associate at a prominent firm, had a client who was the general counsel of a large telecommunications company. Working on this client's matters accounted for nearly one-third of Marc's billable time. "I always praised his work, directly to him, and also to his boss, the CEO. I saw it as my job to make him look good to his boss," he told us. As a result, when Marc left for a new firm, the client chose to follow him.
Where to Start
Beyond the company-sponsored gifts sent to clients or given to employees, give your own verbal workplace gifts. Here are three to put at the top of your shopping list:
- Compliments,
- Thanks, and
- Acknowledgments.
With the first two, we refer to the customary definition:
To offer a compliment is to praise an action or quality.
Example: "You did a nice job on the Acme memo today."
To extend thanks is to express appreciation for an action or quality.
Example: "Thank you for working so hard on the Acme memo."
Although the dictionary defines "acknowledge" as "recognition or favorable notice of an act or achievement," in the workplace we use it differently. An acknowledgment addresses who the person is, or what qualities a person draws on, rather than what the person has done.
Example: Your flexibility in staying late to finish the memo was the key to completing this project ahead of schedule.
When complimenting and thanking, we address the action the person has taken—writing a memo. When acknowledging, we speak to the characteristic or quality the person demonstrated (flexibility, in the above example), rather than the act of writing.
Selecting the Perfect Gift for Each Person
The most meaningful acknowledgments reflect what is important to the person or people receiving them. Conversely, acknowledgment for less valued characteristics can miss the mark. Consider Jane, a deputy general counsel at a large corporation. One of her direct reports, Steve, wrangled with a highly technical problem, and he identified two solutions. One solution had few potential consequences, and in turn, little pay off; the other had high stakes but, potentially, a huge reward. Jane trusted Steve's judgment and she wanted to see him spread his wings, so she left the final decision up to him. Steve chose the more dangerous solution, and it paid off. Wishing to acknowledge the risk Steve took, Jane said, "Steve, your willingness to take risks is a key to this department's success." Steve looked at Jane with a blank stare.
Jane had offered a beautiful acknowledgment: She addressed a quality of Steve's, his willingness to take risks. But it fell flat because Steve did not perceive his decision as a risk at all. Rather, Steve felt his good decision was due to his exhaustive research and careful analysis. Had Jane said, "Steve, your willingness to track down every detail is a key to this department's success," it would have meant more to Steve, leaving them both feeling better.
So how do you find out what is important to people?
First, ask. Make an effort to find out what is important to each person on your team. You do not need to delve deeply. Simply ask questions, such as, "What is important about that?" and listen carefully. This is not an overnight process, yet over time, you will have a good idea of what makes each person tick.
Second, don't worry too much. It is better to offer an acknowledgment from your land, than to not offer one at all. (For a complete discussion of lands, see "This Land was Made for You and Me," Diversity & the Bar®, May/June 2004.)
The Flourishing Process™ can help you sort out your verbal gift list.
The Flourishing Process
