Year-End Acts of Kindness
Heather Bradley, CPCC, and Miriam Bamberger Grogan, CPCC, are the co-founders of The Flourishing Company, a workplace consulting firm which changes the way people experience work. They are the authors of Judge For Yourself: Clarity, Choice, and Action in Your Legal Career, published by the American Bar Association in cooperation with MCCA®. For additional information, visit: www.TheFlourishingCompany.com.
'Tis the season to give gifts. The commercials started around Labor Day, but now is the time to get busy: What presents will we give to whom during this holiday season?
Giving co-workers presents can be awkward, and your company or firm most likely has a practice of sending seasonal cards to current and prospective clients. Rather than trying to find the right book, coffee mug, or other trinket, this year, give your staff, clients, vendors, and colleagues what they really want and cannot give themselves: your appreciation.
Many professionals feel this kind of verbal recognition is not important. "He knows how I feel. If he wasn't doing a good job, he'd know," is a common refrain from senior attorneys. This statement may be true. But it is also true that with today's workplace requiring simultaneous focus on productivity, efficiency, and political correctness, we often lose sight of the humanity of the people with whom we work.
Research suggests this attitude is costly. Indeed, the primary reasons that employees leave their jobs are irregular or nonexistent feedback, criticism instead of praise, and managers' inattention to the people they supervise.1
With clients, recognition is just as important. Many attorneys shrink from the idea of praising clients, fearful they'll be perceived as buttering up. But clients are people, too, and remembering the value of simple acts of kindness can produce handsome rewards.
Marc, a senior associate at a prominent firm, had a client who was the general counsel of a large telecommunications company. Working on this client's matters accounted for nearly one-third of Marc's billable time. "I always praised his work, directly to him, and also to his boss, the CEO. I saw it as my job to make him look good to his boss," he told us. As a result, when Marc left for a new firm, the client chose to follow him.
Where to Start
Beyond the company-sponsored gifts sent to clients or given to employees, give your own verbal workplace gifts. Here are three to put at the top of your shopping list:
- Compliments,
- Thanks, and
- Acknowledgments.
With the first two, we refer to the customary definition:
To offer a compliment is to praise an action or quality.
Example: "You did a nice job on the Acme memo today."
To extend thanks is to express appreciation for an action or quality.
Example: "Thank you for working so hard on the Acme memo."
Although the dictionary defines "acknowledge" as "recognition or favorable notice of an act or achievement," in the workplace we use it differently. An acknowledgment addresses who the person is, or what qualities a person draws on, rather than what the person has done.
Example: Your flexibility in staying late to finish the memo was the key to completing this project ahead of schedule.
When complimenting and thanking, we address the action the person has taken—writing a memo. When acknowledging, we speak to the characteristic or quality the person demonstrated (flexibility, in the above example), rather than the act of writing.
Selecting the Perfect Gift for Each Person
The most meaningful acknowledgments reflect what is important to the person or people receiving them. Conversely, acknowledgment for less valued characteristics can miss the mark. Consider Jane, a deputy general counsel at a large corporation. One of her direct reports, Steve, wrangled with a highly technical problem, and he identified two solutions. One solution had few potential consequences, and in turn, little pay off; the other had high stakes but, potentially, a huge reward. Jane trusted Steve's judgment and she wanted to see him spread his wings, so she left the final decision up to him. Steve chose the more dangerous solution, and it paid off. Wishing to acknowledge the risk Steve took, Jane said, "Steve, your willingness to take risks is a key to this department's success." Steve looked at Jane with a blank stare.
Jane had offered a beautiful acknowledgment: She addressed a quality of Steve's, his willingness to take risks. But it fell flat because Steve did not perceive his decision as a risk at all. Rather, Steve felt his good decision was due to his exhaustive research and careful analysis. Had Jane said, "Steve, your willingness to track down every detail is a key to this department's success," it would have meant more to Steve, leaving them both feeling better.
So how do you find out what is important to people?
First, ask. Make an effort to find out what is important to each person on your team. You do not need to delve deeply. Simply ask questions, such as, "What is important about that?" and listen carefully. This is not an overnight process, yet over time, you will have a good idea of what makes each person tick.
Second, don't worry too much. It is better to offer an acknowledgment from your land, than to not offer one at all. (For a complete discussion of lands, see "This Land was Made for You and Me," Diversity & the Bar®, May/June 2004.)
The Flourishing Process™ can help you sort out your verbal gift list.
The Flourishing Process
Clarity: Making a List
Identify whom you would like to thank, compliment, or acknowledge. For starters, make a list of 10 people with whom you work—client, colleague, boss, or subordinate. For each person, identify what you would like to be different after receiving your gift. What would you like each person to think or feel afterward?
Choice: Check it Twice
Double-check that what you choose to say is suitable. If you have any questions about whether or not something is appropriate, check with your lead partner or human resources department. Thinking ahead, what do you choose for yourself in the coming year? How about choosing a New Year's resolution to make thanks, compliments, and acknowledgments a regular habit?
Action: Deliver Your Gifts
What do you need to do in order to start sharing your gifts? Do you need to schedule a conference call or lunch appointment? Do you need to draft your thoughts on paper so you're comfortable when the time comes?
- What will you do right now?
- What will you do by the end of the week?
- What will you do to ensure you stick with your New Year's resolution?
Although bumper stickers say practice random acts of kindness, this process deserves thoughtful consideration. In turn, your verbal gifts may be the most treasured.
NOTE
- Leigh Branham, "The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave," HR Magazine, May 2005, at http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3495/is_5_50/ai_n13721406#continue.
Recommended Resources
- Co-Active Coaching By Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey-House and Phil Sandahl
- First, Break All the Rules By Marcus Buckinghamand Curt Coffman
- The Inner Game of Work By W. Timothy Gallwey
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The free teleclass for this article is scheduled for Wednesday, December 7, 2005 at 4:00 p.m. (eastern standard time). Registration is available online at www.mcca.com. Register and dial-in! Would you like free individual coaching? We are looking for volunteers to participate in this D&B Brief. Volunteers must work in a corporate law department or a firm, be prepared to share his/her situation with others on the call, and, in turn, receive customized, real-time coaching.
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On behalf of The Flourishing Company, the board and staff of MCCA®, and the Diversity & the Bar editorial and production teams, we compliment you on your outstanding contributions to diversifying the legal profession, we acknowledge the commitment you have to the profession and to diversity, and we thank you for your support. We wish you a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2006.
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Do you have a question for these legal luminaries? Would you like to see a particular topic addressed? With whom would you like to chat? Email your pre-chat questions and suggestions for 2006 to info@TheFlourishingCompany.com. |
| Recommended Resources | |
| How to Become a Rainmaker | Jeffrey J. Fox |
| Why Good Clients Fire Great Companies | John Gamble |
| Make Your Contacts Count | Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon |
| ABA Career Resource Center, "Maintaining Good Vendor Relationships" | Jim Calloway and Ellen Freedman |
During MCCA's popular online discussion, Chance-2-Chat, legal luminaries provide advice and perspective on current issues. The quotations in this article are from these chats.
From the November/December 2005 issue of Diversity & The Bar®